She has hair that smells like the trees just after it rains and the sum of her parts smell like dirt, the way it seems after it rains. and there is dirt under her fingernails, but not enough to hide her elegance.
and not enough to show under a chipped layer of pink polish applied like the first time she broke into her mother's makeup.  twenty three or three it is just going to come off tomorrow and who wouldn't want to be three again. and she doesn't douse her hair in oils and even when she brushes it there is nothing polished about the way it falls bluntly across her shoulders or just below them.  and nothing ever fits quite right or ever really matches just the way it should. the way it does when people stop and say "god damn" unless we're at a bar and the lights are too dim to tell that her make up is coming off and her shoes are scuffed. and her hips could repopulate the nation, if the need should arise. but it won't . she isn't the girl in your dreams. the one whose hair smells like trees just after it rains and flowers in hidden places and the one who paints her nails like them too and never needs to brush her hair just so to make it look smooth or maybe you smooth it with the oil on your palms you didn't even acknowledge was there. it looks just as good. the one with the body she dresses awkwardly but good. it still looks good. and people go "god damn" and she puts make up on only when she wants you and she puts on panties too but the kind you never wear to work or you do but it's for you too and it will make it so much better when you finally get home and you can take them off. or leave them on. or dream about them later. or dream about water and melting into her cunt until you are living in her womb nestled like a little baby who has finally come home. and she isn't that. that girl from your dreams. she isn't. she is the girl you fall in love with after you have given all the love that meant anything. the love that makes living red and passionate and real. she is what you fall in love with because her hair smells like trees after it rains and her legs look stable and she has a cunt you can live in but it never. feels. quite like home.