We use to know, and we are just animals.

               But I,   am too vain to act anything but human.

Our new wall!

My sleepy little family.

I am feeling lately as though my hands do not exist and each thing I touch will vanish like dreams in a sun that spills through blinds hung in the haste to just feel at home. As I look down and watch the way my fingers respond to each neurological signal generated by thoughts ill formed I wonder why I was given such passion for languages I can not adequately use. My words are as selfish as my thoughts and I am fully aware that leaders are not born but forged. Reliant on fallacy and the paradox of what it means to be here. What does that mean? Kant said we are all sheep trapped by our self imposed immaturity and incapacitating fear of relying on our own understanding. But, even so, he recognizes the impossibility of freedom beyond constraint. So where are we left? We are all bound to manipulations of the past, reenactments of the same regime. It is only the headlines that have changed, diction and refocused notions of popular syntax. It is through the imagination, through dreams that we most clearly view the future, but that too is filtered through the darkness. We often think that it is waking up that breathes new life to old ideas but perhaps we are mistaken, clinging to ancient notions with brittle palms, of the disinfecting power of sunlight. Within the darkness of my drunk and sunken heart is often where I find the most truth, I shed the most light. Perhaps the night is where magic still exists. But I am sick of the moon and how poets feed on its power, making love to it's immortal body as though Lucy truly carries the universe in her enlightened womb. As though access is so easily granted. Who do you think you are and will you ever get there? These are my questions but they are probably yours as well. I wrote this twice, my first attempt cruelly destroyed and lost in the waning hours. Questions I had, forgotten. Beautiful constructions of all the universal paradoxes of human life, momentarily put on hold.